Wednesday, 3 December 2014

yell and tell

a sunday morning began like any other day. the clicking of jessy girls' nails on the kitchen floor as she makes her way to my room. a sure sign that f is on the move despite a late night after a little pot lucking with mamas friends that had him blaring well past bedtime AND a two am tummy ache meltdown. thank heavens for this AMAZING stuff...

2-3 drops in a tbsp of carrier oil rubbed on tummies and bottoms of feet. 
i seriously could have used it around when he was the baby who couldn't burp between 7 pm and 4 am. worked like a charm on number two.

anyway. with the usual rise and shine routine in motion all seems off to a pretty regular start. f makes his way to greet mama and let her know he is "soooo STIIIIIIICky".

already? mama's mind quickly searches for the potential source... must have been the honey jar left on the counter from last night's tea time/annoying tickle cough be gone regime..

 possibly a good place to pause for a little morning mantra to the rescue (???)



little fingers open and close now, to demonstrate just how STIIIIIIIICky..

ok ok, let's get you cleaned up before said sticky fingers make the rounds.

to the kitchen. nope. not the honey in the tightly lidded mason jar.. huh, but that big bottle of children's advil mama pulled down at 2 am before properly diagnosing the issue is looking a little suspect.

on the counter. lid juuuuuust barely resting on the top.

shit.

i mean sugar plums... ;)

probably 3/4 full last night. now feeling pretty close to empty.

let the freaking out while "remaining calm" begin...

to the internet!!!

google said what??

ring ring poision control...
(oh how fun. our first call to poison control!)

according to the kind lady spending her sunday morning take frantic phone calls, thankfully the worst he may suffer is a tummy ache within the next four hours. no one shall perish. no tummies to be pumped. mom can stop yelling now...

wait a second. was i yelling? i guess i sure as hell wouldn't classify it as "calming inquiring" as to whether or not he had drank the contents. to which he clearly did not answer and clearly i did not really need him to tell me...

... or my attempt in the wee hours of last night to get him to "tell me" what was wrong... or at bedtime when he WOULD NOT settle and all mom wanted to do was go to bed herself.

we've been in a pretty solid deep freeze around here the last few days plus dad has been away. thankfully we've been blessed with visiting friends who are apparently more accepting of the "conditions out there"... haha, actually it's really pretty standard for winters around here but not particularly pleasant nonetheless. we had only really been "on lockdown" for a couple of days but anyone with busy toddlers knows a couple of days can seem like an eternity. especially when you have the kind that NEED a change of scenery like mom needs a morning coffee.

right jess??;)



we decide to head to mama t's house for a little play. staying home another day feels like it might just push us over the edge. a pit stop at the drug store for diapers and milk. i run in while the boys watch little einsteins on the iPad. i come out and w is wailing. like someone just hit me in the face with a bat wailing. very unlike w.. except when f starts screaming bloody murder at him in the car...

i stop. i know yelling at anyone is definitely not going to accomplish anything. not that is ever really does. i look at f and say calmly.

"why is wylie crying?.... were you yelling at him?"

no answer. clearly. and with sudden clarity i know...

"were you yelling at him because mom yells at you?"


eyes lift, slightly teared. i can literally see the answer written clean across his face.


my heart sinks.

"mommy shouldn't yell. i am sorry. i love you. i just get upset sometimes. it's not right. i will really try not to yell so much. i promise."

still sad faced but clearly understanding.

we turn the conversation back to how excited we are to see our friends. aside of the snow globe we smash during our visit it's a dandy as far as visits with friends with exhausted kiddo who may also be feeling the effects of half a bottle of ibuprofen..

hmmm. should that have been a good or bad thing?

yes yes, mother of the year right here.

so i figured since that cat had also done it's biz in the garage, left to discover on our way out the door,   the snow globe made three...

... and therefore we should be good for the day... no??? ;)

in fact we really were... pretty much. did i make it through supper without yelling at all??

no i did not.

did i check myself more quickly than usual.

yes i did.
thank you very much :)

and now it is wednesday evening. on monday morning i did set a clear intention to do my very VERY best... monday had ended up being a home day. a pretty darn good one in fact because you know what?

there was no yelling... well not that i remember.. haha.

actually, really. i would really honestly say...

really there wasn't.

yes, we've all been having a pretty nice (relatively) peaceful week so far...

i mean f and w even "helped" mom try out some jamberrynails nails samples one day...




preeeeetttttty fun! especially all the oohs and aahs they got.. haha. my boys may be boys but they still like to see cool stuff on mommy's "finger angles".

anyway, i just need to be clear here that i DO NOT actually believe that the yelling is over. nor is the telling you about it... i am just grateful for the presence of mind to be consciously working on it ;)

what is life but a work in progress right?

blessings friends.

thx a whole bunch for being...

b.


Thursday, 27 November 2014

little voices

so i was seeing the link to this "let it go" youtube parody all over the place a while back but had never actually watched it...



WHAT???? i know i know, sometimes i do really feel like i live under a rock.  f and w only actually saw the frozen for the first time a couple of months ago but don't worry...

they (especially f) have more than made up for it. turns out that while he hasn't given up all the other things he WUVS SO MUCH, he has definitely developed a crush on those princesses...

he has also developed a love for that song.

in fact, he sings it so much that his fourteen month old brother also like to try to belt it out with him.

oh wait for the best part though. they like to sing it together to me when i am about to lose it. yes that's right folks, my boys tell me to "let it go" on a pretty regular basis.

ok well maybe they aren't quite that clear in their intention. maybe they are just trying to serenade their hardworking mama to brighten her day...

or maybe they are just enjoying making beautiful noise together.


nonetheless, the first time it happened, i was truly on the verge of meltdown. they were fine. clearly. i mean they just started belting it out in unison so i would say they were doing ok ;)


my impending rage stopped dead. hang on a second...


did my three year old just tell me...





hmmm.. sure sounds like it.. haha.

did my one year old just echo the sentiment?


well go figure, maybe we are born knowing exactly what we need to do ;)


thx guys. xx


blessings all :)


b.


p.s. - you may also enjoy this recent post on luv snaps ;)

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

guest post by mama tanya / ponders on aging gracefully... or not - take one

i am so delighted to welcome this beautifully poignant guest post by my (as you may have guessed it ;)) equally poignant and beautiful friend who i shall refer to from here on out as... 

mama t :)

while i have many amazing mama friends, mama t and i share the bond of having three year old boys' and incidentally spend quite a bit of time together these days with her being on mat leave with her second little beauty, baby h :) 

when mama t is not being so fabulously free for playdate time (btw, we know she is needed elsewhere, but we aren't really down with how it messes with her time with us! haha), she is a nurturer and stretcher of young minds working her magic in a profession of which i could not have MORE RESPECT for. seriously. you teachers are the bomb.

it's usually safe to day that mama t and i are generally on the same wavelength so to speak. we often have some pretty in depth and very candid discussions about life right now. lately we've been talking a lot about age which is something i have had on the brain to be writing about for some time now. when i asked her to write a bit for the blog i was super excited to read her brilliantly honest submission. 

age is a funny thing. sure our physical body starts to "go south" (for lack of a more all encompassing description), however the evidence out there as to how much of it is about what's going on in our mind, says it all. right down to the story we make up about how old the face looking back at us in the mirror "appears" and why it is or isn't something we like... 

...why it is or isn't something we accept, something we wake up one morning and just decide to honour, love and appreciate. 

wowzers, can you imagine ;)



the other day at the end of a playdate mama t came out of the bathroom...

"so i have never been much for vanity before," she says, "but i'm really having a hard time these days...." 

she goes on to point out the "creases" around her eyes and laugh "lines" around her mouth. the general stuff we really start to notice around our mid thirties. unsure how we even got here and how strangely, we still "feel" so young.

i laugh and tell her i've been feeling the same way lately forever. i'm pretty sure we're not alone. i'm also pretty sure i think her saying that about herself is hilarious in a way, since when i look at her i think she has beautiful skin that always look vibrant, especially next to my dark sunken eye circles..

haha. yes, since we are all always so easy on ourselves right??


oh if only, it were so easy.

but it's not, it's part of the journey. it's part of the quest of which we often feel so unsure. 

yesireeall part of it folks.

but let me let mama t tell you how she feels about it ;)




I HAVE BECOME A BASSET HOUND.

by mama t


I looked in the mirror and smiled.

And then in phoned my mom.


I phoned her because I saw wrinkles on my face. When did that happen? 


I am shocked.

I am only in my 30's. I don't feel any different now than a decade ago... but look!!! There they are!! 


The fine, undeniable creases that mark the passage of time.

My first response (besides phoning my mother), was to attend a beauty party in which I poured over the catalogue searching for a "miracle" cream or serum that could take me back...

...but back to what? 

Oh I don't know...perhaps the summer I was 17 year old swilling slurpies while I suntan, listening to Blue Rodeo without a care in the world.

These days I think long and hard about "age". I know this could go down one of two ways. 

One: lament the bygone days and weep for your tanned mile long legs in jean shorts and belly unmarred by pregnancy....


or...


Two: Think of the women that you love who aged before your eyes. Your Grandmother's papery cheeks tinged with rouge for church. They were so lovely and familiar and friendly. Your other Grandmother's soft wrinkly arms that felt cool to the touch yet gave the warmest hugs.


The rouged cheeks, wrinkled arms, laughing eyes, round bodies, blouses and slacks, grey perms, aged women that made pie, gardened, knit, sewed, crafted, cooked, created and had more love for family than I could ever possibly describe.

When I think of aging...I must think of these women and all of the older generation who has touched my life.

Because I know--I hear, in the deep recesses of my brain, the clock ticking. The time marching--beating on day by day. And eventually no matter how hard you try to grasp the silken fabric of any of the minutes you so desperately want to live over again...

... you can't.

Such is life my friends. So, with that inevitability. Slap some cream on your face, brush your teeth, comb your hair (or don't), kiss your spouse, phone your mom, have tea with your friends, squeeze the breath out of your kids, pet your pet...

...and for the love of God, press your face to the mirror and trace every single groove on your gorgeous uniquely you reflection. You've earned them and more. Without a doubt we are all nothing but shining beauty.

and you, mama t, are one of the shiniest i have ever met :)

thank you so much for sharing your fantabulousness here with us. we sure hope to hear from you again very soon! ;)

blessings beautiful friends.

mama t & b.

Friday, 14 November 2014

life flows on.

hey friends :)

so it's been a kind of hectic couple of weeks full of days where i have THE FULLEST of intention of posting.. and it just doesn't happen. seriously, it feels like forever and i am FEELING it. i tell you what, when i don't post i just don't feel like "myself". it's just the way it is. although i should probably rephrase that a little. in truth, it's when i don't WRITE that i don't feel like "myself".

actually, there are a lot of things that i normally do to help me feel like myself (outside of being a mom of course), that i have totally been neglecting lately.

a few weeks ago things felt like they were flowing nicely. even a couple of weeks ago i was truly feeling "on a roll" and did a ton of writing that is way WAY over due. it's interesting to me how i give so little credit to the process. until things are ready to be shared and actually OUT THERE, it's as if they don't get done at all. in truth what comes out here is truly the tip of the iceberg.

and in truth, a lot has been going on. too much to get into in one (would be quickie) post for sure.

the last few months have come with some good momentum... you know, the kind that often rushes in on the heels of chaos. when the momentum had seemed to stall over the last couple of weeks, i found myself slipping into a bit of a hole.

AND THEN, i realized it was largely a result of me NOT doing all of the things i have set out with this GIANT intention to help others learn to do to make THEIR lives a little (or even a lot) happier. the little bits of mommy time squeezed in here and there, the even ever so brief bursts of creativity outside of my daily duties, the creativity WITHIN my daily duties, the breathing, the learning, the teaching...

it just all seemed to stop. there was no room. no space. no time.

the main point here however, is that we ALL DO THIS. especially as mamas. days and weeks blow by and we are like "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?", "when was the last time i showered??", "did i eat lunch today??"..

"WHO'S KIDS ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR MAMA!?!?!"

haha.

SERIOUSLY though. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? when did i become a mom of two. where did those days go where i had hours and hours to myself but still couldn't find the time for all the things i "wanted to do"...

and WHY ON EARTH would i think it was acceptable to beat myself up over struggling to find the time now. the thing is if i don't make a point to stay up a little bit late to do some writing or take a time out from freaking out over dumb shit to just take a bazillion pictures of my kids instead, or to do five minutes of morning yoga while they eat breakfast, or sneak off for three of meditation or breathing while they are occupied by the tv, to create something random or work on the most slowly stocked etsy shop in all of history.. ;)

then i completely start to fall apart.

as not so much of a coincidence, i clearly also really missed the one yoga class a week i normally instruct on tuedsay evenings with remembrance/veterans day this past. only today as i was writing this, did i note how much teaching really fills me up and really REALLY makes me feel like my "self".

oh yes, and i just need to share how hilarious it is that i thought with this extra whole two hours that i wouldn't be teaching that maybe would maybe get some of the back log of posting i have out there but alas... guess what happened?

I WAS BUSY BEING A MAMA.

i often wonder if my posting frequency (or lack there of here) has any real impact other than the plummeting stats. despite the fact that i firmly believe anyone and everyone's story has the potential to inspire and make a difference, i have moments where i wonder how it "even matters??" if i post because, does anyone really care. is anyone REALLY out there wondering where i am and waiting for me to say something.

i mean to say it out loud sounds a little self indulgent to say the least.

the thing is, i realize over and over again that it really doesn't matter if they are or not. because these things i do that i shouldn't, that i couldn't possibly have the time for...

those are the things, that remind me that i am not just a mom, (even though i really really REALLY love being just that), those are the things, that make me feel like my "self" when the rest get's to be too much.

ya so, in case you missed it... ;), when i don't do them...

i start to feel stuck.

like all that stuff in that tree in that book that i've been reading foster every night recently..

huh. how about that.

stuck:)

now i think we can all agree. nothing feels worse than feeling stuck in a place where we don't feel comfortable in our skin.

icky. sticky. :( when we feel icky we tend to not be as nice as we would like to be to the people closest to us. our sore spots feel like they are being poked at. we poke back. times like these, they  happen and that's ok. those people love us. and they do the same by times. we talk it out with those people and they understand.

this is the reason that these people are those we hold closest. this is life. these are our relationships. this is what love is all about.

anyway, as it turns out, and as i had forgotten, this all tends to happen when kiddos are icky sicky (we've been too gross for the playdates that save our sanity the last couple of weeks), that mama really drops the ball on the whole "doing the stuff that makes her feel like her 'self'." bit. and it's around these times (and of course the beautiful blessing of a monthly visitor), that things start to go awry and the unravelling begins.

oh and did i mention that in true prairie styles we are suddenly into the deep freeze of winter? 





anyway, the thing is, to that unravelling, there is always an end. an opening. a flowing.

and things come out on the other side,

and beautiful and amazing things happen.


yes indeed.

life flows on.

one of those amazing things happening was my regular yoga class venue forgetting to book me for the next session's would be first class. i knew this was the perfect opportunity for something a little different. a step in a direction i knew i needed to go.

long story short, our first eight weeks post summer vacay had ended and when i check on the room rental as i got ready to roll into another session, what would have been the first week, wasn't available... and so the first karma class of "yoga with rebecca", was born as i sought out another space for the week. our first non profit outreach recipient, the school districts breakfast program. a practice and raffle or silent auction (yet to be decided). nothing big or fancy, just a little something that incidentally REALLY makes me feel like myself.

for this i am very VERY thankful :)

for it all. yes. very very VERY thankful.

and nonetheless also kind of tired.

i shall leave you with a little mantra o mine from these past few weeks as I say to my self... 


what's this mindful mommi movement biz all about? 

hmmm.. for another day ;) 

till then, 

nighty night time friends.

blessings.

b.

Friday, 31 October 2014

that kind of day // ode to the manic mama

it’s that kind of day. the one where you wake up and just don’t feel like doing the whole parenting thing. the kind where despite all the effort you can muster to be grateful and patient, you feel like a giant failure when you find yourself yelling before you are even out of bed. the kind of day where you wonder why on earth you would think you should be able to get anything done outside of your role as caretaker and cleaner. the kind of day where you were suppose to take in some kiddie hallowe’en festivities but your three year old greeted you in bed this morning with a stuffy nose and rattly cough. the kind of day where you try and turn that into a “well I needed to do some cleaning and hey, maybe even write a blog post since i haven’t posted anything in two weeks”, but everything feels so overwhelming you figure there is a better chance you are just going to weep in a corner and maybe then everyone will just leave you alone (but not likely). the kind of day where maybe you can at least muster some gratitude for a very likely needed home day, especially since the dog hair is out of hand and the dust bunnies greet you dancing as the sunrise filters through the kitchen. the kind of day where you start to vacuum and realize half way through that it isn’t really sucking but more like spreading the layer of dog hair around. 

it’s the kind of day where you decide “hey, at least it’s pretty nice outside so let’s get out there… “ only to find the wind is too strong and cold to take a walk and all the kids want to do is find what little mud there is to play in anyway. the kind of day where you scoop dog poop and try to keep your kids out of it but step in it yourself and only don’t track it though the house when you come in to grab something, because something made you check the bottom of your shoes first. the kind of day where the dog followed you around, glued to your hip while you picked the poop and this makes you irate because seriously, like you don’t have enough actually sh*t to clean up with a one and three year old that love fruit and the latter having ZERO interest in potty training no matter what you do. the kind of day where said (truly lovely and oh so sweet) dog then tracks mud through the house and onto the carpet you managed to make look slightly less disgusting with twice as much effort as it should have taken. 

it’s the kind of day where you know you should be able to choose whether to laugh or cry but really, all you want to do is cry. 

it’s the kind of day where  you know you are human. where you know that if you are this spent, it means you have been putting all of yourself into each and every day (even if it didn’t feel like it). it’s the kind of day where if you stop for a moment, you remember, you have been here before and it didn’t last forever. it’s the kind of day where you know that just taking the time to get it out will make everything better and then after that maybe you should ignore your kids (within reason) and take a few minutes to just breath. it’s the kind of day you are totally cool with the fact that your kids are both eating a box of cereal for lunch while you type because you just know there is nothing else that you can do in this moment but find a way to purge some of the frustration and angst that comes from this kind of day.

and then suddenly you realize, it’s a pretty good day.

you know what i mean?? ;)

blessings.

b.

Friday, 17 October 2014

getting our green on & the i/g balanced mama challenge.

hey friends. 

hope you're having a beautiful day. things have been quite so around here the last couple of days. the weather has been gorgeous (fall is so my fave for outside time...) and it's been great fun taking adventurous (everything is adventurous to us... lucky ducks we are!) strolls and playing in the leaves in the sunshine. even if it's a pretty parse scattering of em in our yard. luckily we had just the right giant rake for ultimate efficiency. 

let's just say we gotter dun.

more to the point of this post... we've been meaning to share our favourite green monster smoothie recipe for a while... having jumped into the "balanced mommy challenge" on instagram, it turns out one of the goals for the first week is getting some green goodness into ourselves via something yummy to sip. we had just the thing and are happy to note we have been doing pretty well on these lately. foster (usually) can get into one and with plenty of the greens he'd never eat otherwise, along with some super star healthy fat and protein, it really just makes mama feel like she is doing an pretty good job...

oh and in case you are interested in joining in or just looking for a little inspiration to be a healthier happier version of your amazing self... here's the line up :)


ok getting back to the smoothie... as far as downing one myself, i usually wait and see how it goes with round one as that may end up being mine depending on how it goes over that day..

hey it is truly delish however, there are no guarantees in this life. 

especially in this department.

anyways, here ya'll go :) oh and don't worry.. it's all summed up at the end!

to get started, toss in a handful of spinach.. this is stuff i just froze myself from the large batch i bought from the grocery store (as per an idea i stole from a friend (just throw what you want to freeze in a ziploc and into the freezer). btw i'm use the "single serving" blender cup from our ninja system here in case you are wondering...

we usually have frozen bananas on hand (i like to cut them up and freeze them on a baking sheet lined with parchment before putting them in a ziploc so they don't stick together), but this time round we were out of the frozen so in went a whole fresh...
topped with a heaping tablespoon of natural peanut butter and a tablespoon (or so) of hemp seeds. chia seeds are great as well... hello healthy fat (yay omega 3's!!) and protein. we keep both on hand at all times!
wylie had some pretty bad eczema that we have under relative control after seeking help from a naturopath. part of the regime was adding a probiotic to his diet so we are trying to keep that in the mix.
a cup or so of almond milk (or enough to pretty much cover the rest of the goodness) and  just a wee splash of agave or maple syrup to sweeten things up a pinch and we're good to go...
blend until smooth and then add 2-3 ice cubes and blend another 30-60 seconds or as required to get it as smooth a consistency as possible.

as mentioned, we're working with a single serving blender cup here which generally takes care of the two monkeys. if it all goes down without a fight, i usually whip up a second batch for mama with almond butter instead of peanut. 
and there you have it!

the "fun grown up cup" and straw is key in our house. we love this bamboo one we picked up at the grocery store. it's pretty decent in the spill proof department... once the lid is on of course!
mmm... yummers. let's see how this goes...
success!!! ha. well so far ;)
note, wylie has his own but it's just not the same around here without a straw...
now if we could just work out the whole how to drink with one bit.. oh and btw, this is sure makes mom feel better on those days when all foster wants to eat is rice cakes.
ok so in case you are more of a nice neat list kind of person... :)

a recap...

we'll call this our...







we sure love trying out new and yummy smoothie combos so we would be tickled pink if you'd like to share your fave with us in the comments!

till next time...


mama b keeping the peace.

blessings.

b.